Tuesday, January 29, 2008
i know i told gan that emo blogging is just about the worst thing that you can do, especially when you're feeling emo, but i really need to say this, and there's no one i know that will hear me:
i have really, really, really bad good dreams.
i will spare the details, but i woke up this morning at 9am, semi-consciously dry sobbing and really really bummed. and i hate that right now, i am someone that wants something that i cannot have, and once in a while i have a dream in which i am someone that has that thing and it's weird, but i hate those dreams, because i will invariably spend the rest of the day moody and haunted.
so today i skipped school, i skipped aikido and i feel
thinner somehow, like i'm not all here and i have spent the whole day sitting in front of my computer, trying to find something to do that will interest me but nothing seems to be worth doing. i am, at least, thankful that tuesdays are days where skipping school is actually not that big a deal.
i hate these days.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
so recently the singapore students' association over here have been seeking nominations for the exco positions, since the changing of the guard is coming, so to speak. and suddenly everyone is fluttering about asking each other about who's running for what, which strikes me as amusing because, in typical singaporean fashion, no one gives a fuck about what the SSA is doing most of the year, so why are they so excited now?
considering that no one really wants to run the ssa, i wasn't too surprised when i got nominated for president. i was, however, surprised when people actually asked me if i was going to run, making like they were actually interested in me as the president. somehow i get the feeling that they just want another sucker to make sure their local eatery discounts don't disappear.
not that i would mind terribly doing it. what i do mind, though, is being the president of a committee that i wouldn't want to work with. i've been thinking about that - considering that i don't get paid for this job, is it too selfish of me to only want to do it if i get to choose who i do it with?
anyway, when i rejected the nomination i got another email urging me to reconsider, stating that i was identified as a candidate with outstanding leadership potential, and i was amazed by how much 'outstanding leadership potential' meant to me. or rather, by how little it meant to me. it's a strange thing, leadership. i cannot remember if i sought it before, but now, it seems i have it, yet i no longer wish to wield it.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
just a thought about food culture, in relation to meeting culture: i took this project-based course last year and one thing that struck me was that the reason why the majority (i'm using the term 'majority' very loosely here) of project meetings in singapore tend to be more focused than those i've had over here is because the tendency to talk about out-of-point stuff here is ginormous. and considering that i am fully aware of how bad it can get in singapore, that's saying something.
i had put that down to the fact that singaporeans tend to do their off-shop talk
after their meetings, but americans don't seem to have that culture. and it just occurred to me that it would be impossible to do here, mainly because it's really hard to get everyone to agree on where to eat when you actually have to pick a particular type of cuisine. i mean, not everyone likes italian. or thai. or american. and, for gosh's sakes, just because i'm chinese doesn't mean i want to
eat chinese all the time (and damn if i could only pound that into certain peoples' heads...)
this revelation has made me appreciate the food court. a lot.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
increasingly shallow
msn conversations with certain people have prompted me to wonder about the... shallow-
ness (to coin a word) of the human race in general.
i mean, i believe that humans
aren't shallow - that, within all of us, there is a certain amount of real substance and depth of thought, which allows us to be able to hold real conversations that are not tainted with stupid remarks.
(okay,
i'm saying this in the face of the
miss teen usa south carolina video. i suppose there really
are idiots in this world, but i'm going to ignore their existence for the sake of this blog entry.)
so my question is: why do people find themselves unwilling to engage others at that level? cause, seriously? i'm really rather tired of making certain people laugh by invoking pink M&Ms.
geez.
Labels: general
Saturday, January 05, 2008
there are icicles outside my window!
and they're growing!!!
Labels: winter
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
well. another year. this year started with a flight cancellation, leaving me stuck in chicago for 6 hours, but i got upgraded to first class in the end so... i don't know.
another year. i think all i can hope for is that it will be better than the last.
Labels: general
